Why I Write

 

Simply put, I'm a follower of Christ and writing is my new found mini mission field. 

I took a mission trip to Kenya and fell in love with it all. I told God, this is what I want. I wanted Him to use me. But the only problem is I was ignoring the fact that He could possibly surprise me with how and where He might place me in the mission field. 

I've always loved to write and have started more blogs than I can even begin to count but I've kept them all private, only sharing one occasionally when I was feeling daring. I've been afraid to share for a variety of reasons. I don't wanna come off fake, weird, holier-than-thou, or you name it. It wasn't until after I wrote a very vulnerable post that I decided I would push and devote myself to a blog. I had to make myself accept that I might come off like some of those things or maybe even all of them, but i have to not care. I have to care more about maybe possibly helping just one person. It took some pushing from some of my friends and family and definitely a lot of conviction from my God, but here I am. Writing an about me page, feeling vulnerable once again. 

Writing has always been a therapy for me, an escape, almost like a friend I didn't want to share. So the idea of being raw and real with everyone or no one scared me. 

It was late at night and I found myself copying my journal entry into a Facebook post. One that I truly didn't expect much as far as responses goes. But with that one post, I received multiple messages about how the post affected them, how it helped them; I was welcomed into others lives and others insecurities just by sharing mine. I felt humbled, honored, and quite honestly convicted. 

I'm not even close to the worlds best writer and I'm not expecting to be the next great blogger, but I do feel like God has been able to use my flaws and vulnerabilities for His glory and I'm just simply going to stop getting in the way of that. I'll be honest, the only thing scarier than sharing your insecurities is feeling alone in your insecurities. Sharing them is scary, it's hard, but it's totally worth it.

So even if I'm writing to an invisible audience of 100 or a single person somewhere in the world. Maybe it will make someone feel a little less lonely, a little more understood, and maybe just maybe a little closer to Our God. 

God has made it blatantly clear that this is part of what He wants me to be doing right now and I am going to stop being stubborn and selfish and I'm going to start and never stop sharing my life as raw as can be. 

That is why I write.