Today kicked my butt

I go back and read my journal entries often, especially on my bad days. I like reading about my good days and I freakishly enough find comfort in reading about my bad days. I share a lot of my journal entries and others, I don't. Like this one. It was simple & honest, and it really just resonates with me today.

We finally landed in Milwaukee after a long day of traveling. (A big trigger for my symptoms). My in-law's were waiting for us and I just wanted so desperately bad to snap my fingers and be normal just for the 10 minutes it would take to get to the car. But I couldn't. J went to one of the overpriced airport stores and got me a salty snack and a water and he remained patient as I walked a few feet and then had to sit and rest again. I was sweating profusely, my heart spiked from 188 down to 44 and back again; it's a miracle I didn't have a full on syncopal episode.

Today is also kicking my butt.

I'm laying on the couch fighting another infection, listening to my husband clean the house. It was only 82 degrees when we went to get my meds and a few things from the store. I do so much better in the winter, so when I got home today and had to lay on the couch immediately, my dread for the summer and all the emotions that come with it came flooding back. So that's where I'm at today, my butts been kicked. Hubby just handed me some fresh brownies, so I will let myself feel a little sad and eat to my little dysfunctional hearts content and look forward to a better heartday and happier journal entry tomorrow.