18 WEEKS

The way I see it, 18 weeks is basically 20 weeks which is practically 30 weeks which basically means we’re about to meet our girl!

I’ve been really thankful that I haven’t struggled with anxiety on whether baby girls okay throughout the pregnancy (with the exception of the first week…ya girl was a MESS). And then…there was last week.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has experienced this (who knows, maybe I am) but there were a few days there where there was a part of my brain that was CONVINCED that this is genuinely not real and I’m not pregnant and that if we are really, then we’ll just lose her. Yuck, how awful it is to write that down and even yuckier living through those anxious thoughts. It felt that our now reality was an impossibility for so long and I think part of me retreats to that thought process here and there, cause after all, it just feels like an actual dream.

I started to listen to worship music whenever those thoughts came in and I’m thankful that they have lifted…for now let’s be honest, every day brings different emotions - I’m just trying to ride them without letting them take me under. It’s a real trip man.

In lighter news, baby girl is apparently the size of a disposable camera (which is smaller than a pop tart in my opinion, but what do I know ) AND I’m starting to question the ultrasound techs thought that we have an anterior placenta because I’ve been feeling itsy bitsy movements lately!

I just feel too lucky to be this little girls mom.